I went to my grandmother’s funeral and did not get a call or text from my boyfriend the whole week I was gone. I did get a text from my cute coworker, who snuck into the store computer where we both worked to find my phone number. The day after I came home, my boyfriend yelled at me for not calling him and I dumped him. I spent the afternoon tickling my coworker while watching one of my favorite Woody Allen films which, to my surprise, he enjoyed.
Postscript: We have only been together one year, but I know I will love him forever.